Lavi's Growth Theory
by xNaraku No Hanax21
Summary: Lavi's attempt on making Allen grow.
1. Lavi's Theory

Ayane-san: New story everyone! This time, we're going to start on the D. Gray-Man series! Please review!

Kanda: Che, so you finally start on it after 2 months, good-for-nothing.

Ayane-san: *WHACK* Commit seppuku already, you out-dated samurai.

Saaya: I'll be back from school in one week, BaKanda, so stop complaining.

Kanda: ...I'M KANDA!

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><p>It was peaceful day at the Black Order. There weren't any Akuma or Innocence sightings lately, so the Exorcist, Finders, and scientist have taken a few days off of work. Walking down the almost quiet hallways of the Order, Allen Walker was heading to the cafeteria to grab a bite (well maybe more than just a bite) to eat after some long hours of training. When he arrived, the cafeteria was as noisy and crowded as ever. Since not a lot of Exorcist and Finder are being sent on missions lately, the cafeteria was becoming quite busy and it's hard to get food with the long lines forming near the window in which Jerry took their food orders. As Allen was heading towards the long line, a certain red headed Exorcist pounced onto him, who was no other than Lavi.<p>

"Morning! Moyashi~" Lavi said in a cheery voice.

"It's Allen!" He yelled backwith an annoyed look.

Honestly, wherever he went he was always called a Moyashi*. Usually, Allen can tolerate his 'nickname' coming from BaKanda, however, when everybody else in (probably the whole entire world) started calling him that, he got as annoyed as Kanda being bugged by Lavi 24/7. It was always 'Moyashi this' and 'Moyashi that', damn it did almost anyone even bother to remember his name?

"Oh come on, Allen," Lavi said while scruffing Allen's snow white hair. "It was only a joke, and besides it's not our fault because you're so short and that we think of you as a Moyashi," Lavi gestured.

"It was annoying when BaKanda started calling me that, but does anyone even try to call me by my real birth name anymore?" Allen shouted, looking as pissed as hell.

"Well, like I said, it's because you look short," Lavi said as-a-matter-of-fact. "But…if you weren't short, I think people might respect you and call you by your name. And just maybe, you can prove Yuu-chan* wrong and become superior to him," he said as an idea popped into his usagi* brain.

"You think?" Allen asked, unsure about his friend's theory.

"Of course, since you're kinda short, people kind of look down on you and think that they're superior in size than you. Something kinda like a Sempai* and Kohai* relationship," Lavi said grinning. "That's why, we have to make you taller so people can respect you and not call you a Moyashi, you get me?" He said with a smile across his face.

"For once Lavi, I think you might be actually on to something," Allen said with a dumbfounded expression from Lavi's statement just now.

"Hey! What do you mean 'for once'?" Lavi cried with a mock hurt face.

"Nothing," Allen gestured. "So do you have a plan on how to make me grow?" He asked.

"Well normally it'll take years and hard work to make you grow taller, but indeed, I have many ways on making you grow in a short span of time, Allen, my friend," Lavi said knowingly as he put his arm around Allen's shoulders.

"I sure hope you know what your doing, Lavi." Allen said in a weary tone.

"Of course I know what I'm doing, you're looking at the next Bookman, what could possibly go wrong?" Lavi said with a bit of amusement as he shrugged off the idea of the things that could go wrong in his plan

What Allen did not know at the time, was that almost everything could go wrong when it's Lavi helping you. And so Allen's Spartan growth training began

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><p><strong>Translator Notes:<strong>

**Usagi =** Japanese for Rabbit.

**Sempai **= Refers to an upperclassman or someone in a higher status than you.

**Kohai **= Refers to a lower classman or someone in a lower status than you.

**Moyashi **= Japanese for Bean Sprout.

**Yuu-chan **= The honorific, chan, is usually used to express endearment mostly towards girls. It gives a sense of childish cuteness. The name, Yuu, is Kanda's first name because of the order of Japanese names. Although, he really hates it when someone calls him by his first name.

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><p>Ayane-san: Thank you for reading and please review!<p>

Kanda: You're going to help the Moyashi grow? He's never gonna grow!

Ayane-san: You never know unless you try!

Saaya: Yea! My grandma's been overfeeding me and I grew two centimeters!

Kanda: ...You're still a kid.

Saaya: Allen's taller than me! He's getting old!

Allen: Did I hear someone say my name?


	2. GROW MOYASHI GROW

Ayane-san: WE GREATLY APOLOGIZE FOR THE LONG PERIOD OF NO UPDATES! Had a bunch of stuff going on, going through a lot of stuff...WE GREATLY APOLOGIZE TO YOU FANS! We will not be updating as often we should, but we'll try to update as much as possible.

Allen: You've been off for a year...

Ayane-san: No shit Sherlock, I've been having issues as of late. But be lucky that we got this update. We will also try to update the Shinigami Athelete's Festival as well.

Saaya: Please try to understand. Like everyone else, I'm not happy with how is working out. (I actually have a problem with it's appearance but that's not important). I really liked the old, plain and simple ...

Lavi: I don't think that has anything to do with this story.

Ayane-san: We do not own -Man. All rights go to Katsura Hoshino.

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><p>A few days after Lavi announced his 'theory', Allen had been wondering what ideas Lavi would come up with and what sorts of things he would have to go through to get taller. Knowing Lavi though, it would definitely involve something that would get him some bruises and broken limbs that would keep him from missions for weeks. But, due to his own pride of wanting to prove Kanda wrong, Allen thought about giving Lavi's ideas a shot, I mean, sure he might get a few bruises and probably be stuck in bed for like a month, but he might even see some results in his height. Allen had just returned from a mission in Norway. He had been worn out from walking around in search of a possible innocence fragment and fighting numerous amounts of akuma that tried to attack him. In the end, it was only a false alarm and there were no signs of Innocence to recover. He decided to go to the cafeteria to get a bit of food to eat and then get some sleep later. As he walked into the cafeteria, he had spotted Lenalee talking to Krory and Miranda at a table, but surprisingly, Lavi wasn't with them. Allen went to the table where they were sitting to greet them.<p>

"Good morning, Lenalee," Allen called out toward their direction.

"Oh, Allen-kun! Did you just get back from a mission?" Lenalee smiled back.

"Ah, yea," he replied with a shy smile. "I just got back from Norway and I decided to stop by to grab something to eat before I hit the training facilities," He said as he sat down with the next to Krory at the end of the bench.

"By the way Allen-kun, I heard Lavi is helping you out on a project," Miranda said.

"Ah, that's right! He said something about a 'height theory' or something," Lenalee said.

"Oh, that..." Allen said as he laughed a bit. "Well, Lavi has this weird idea of trying to make me taller so everyone won't call me a moya…moya….moya…" Allen started drifting off, too afraid to even use the word.

"You mean a moyashi?" Krory asked. Once the word was said, Allen flinched and lowered his head to the table.

"Yes…that," He said in dismay at the nickname that was unintentionally given to him.

"Ooohhh, so that's why," Lenalee said. "Well, good luck with it, Allen-kun," She said with a smile.

"Thanks," Allen said, then suddenly something quickly came close to his ear and something screamed…

"**GROW MOYASHI, GROW**!"

"GAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Allen screamed. He felt like his eardrums just burst as he fell flat to the floor from the sudden yell directly in his ear while covering his ears.

As Allen opened his eyes, he finally spotted the figure that had just caused him to go temporarily deaf, and it was none other than…

"WHAT THE HELL, LAVI!" Allen yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Haha! Behold Allen!" Lavi said, looking like he was standing on a rock and holding his blow horn with pride. "This is the first part of my theory!"

"And that is?" Allen asked with an annoyed expression, still hearing the ringing in his ears.

"You know how everyone calls you a moyashi? And a moyashi is a plant?" Lavi asked and Allen nodded in understanding. "Well, since moyashis are technically plants, they say the best way to make plants grow is by yelling at them with encouragement to grow! So I thought that if I did that to you, since everyone calls you a moyashi, you would be able to grow!" Lavi said enthusiastically. "So what do you think?" his eyes sparkled.

Allen stared at him with a blank expression for a few seconds then finally said, "That…is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard"

"Oh, Allen, you just don't understand the logical concept of my genius plan. Trust me, you'll see some results in no time at all!"

"Well, if it can help, I guess you should give it a try Allen-kun. Who knows, it might just work." Lenalee suggested.

"It just better be worth it…" Allen mumbled.

After Allen had finished his snack, he went with Krory towards the facilities for a little sparring. Once they arrived, they both got into a fighting stance on either side of the facility and activated their Innocence. Both Exorcist had their full concentration on the battle and waited for either of them to make the first move. Allen was about to make the first move by activating Crown Belt.

"CROWN BEL—"Just when Allen was about to finish calling his attack…a certain phrase hit his left ear with full force...

"GROW MOYASHI, GROOOOOWWWW!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Allen shouted and fell to the floor, hands covering his left ear in pain. "L…La…vi…"

"A-ALLEN? ARE YOU OK?" Krory asked as he ran towards him.

"Did it work?" Lavi asked, a wide grin spread across his face.

Allen glared up from the floor at Lavi with the most menacing glare he has, trembling in anger, "What do you think, genius?"

Lavi, being the usagi he is, answered the supposed rhetorical question, "Looks like this is gonna take a while,"

Later, after that mishap, Allen decided to take a bath in the Dark Order hot springs (They had a hot springs?). Allen had finished washing himself up and wrapped a towel around his waist (FAN SERVICE ;] ). He walked into the bath facility which was soothingly fogged up by the water's steam. Once he got close to the rim of the springs, he stepped into the warm embrace of the heated water and sighed in content.

"_So warm…quiet…peaceful…_" He thought as his sore muscles started to relax. However, as fate would contradict his thoughts, a certain someone tip toed closer and closer towards Allen. As Allen took another long sigh, he decided it he had taken enough time in the baths and got out of the springs. When he was about to get out, it hit him…right in the eardrums…

"GROW MOYASHIII, GROW~!"

"GYAAAAAA!" Allen shouted again as he slipped and fell into the springs with a loud 'splash'.

Lavi beamed down at the bubbling area of the water, which he suspected was Allen's breathing, "Science knows no relaxation, Allen!"

Allen's head resurfaced and he began to emit a dangerously, murderous aura, "Lavi…"

"Well since I'm here, I might as well enjoy the springs too!" Lavi said as he went towards the shower facilities and Allen sinking back down under the water, hoping it would calm him down.

A few hours later, after dinner, Allen was about to get some sleep in his room. He was lucky enough that Lavi was busy eating during dinner and didn't have time to scream in his ear at that moment. Allen dressed into his pajamas and got under his covers. Timcanpy flew over and snuggled under the covers along with him. For good measure, Allen looked around the room once more to see if there was any sign of the junior Bookman. He even looked under his bed. No signs of any Lavi.

Content with his examination, Allen yawned and bid Timcanpy goodnight and shut off the lights. "Goodnight. Tim"

As Allen slept, a part of the wall of his room started to move? Behind that piece of the wall was Lavi, using a ninja cloaking device (LAVI'S A NINJA!). Lavi quietly maneuvered through Allen's room to the side of his bed. He snickered quietly and grinned as he slowly placed the end of the blow horn so close to Allen's ear, but not to the point it would touch him. He took a large inhale of breath and yelled at the op of his lungs…

"GROOOOOOWWWW MOYASHIIIII~!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Allen actually jumped from his bed and hit his head to the ceiling when the shout hit his ears and screamed. He fell back onto his bed and clutched his head in pain. Timcanpy, startled by the sudden noise, flew under the covers.

"So did it work, Allen?" Lavi smiled, apparently in his pajamas as well, at Allen.

Allen spoke darkly and mumbled, "Lavi…?"

"Huh? What is it?" Lavi asked as he leaned closer to hear what Allen was going to say.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM, NOOOOOWWWW!" Allen screamed into Lavi's ear as his face showed a greatly murderous aura surrounding him.

"O-Okay…" Lavi slowly said, feeling like he just saw a ghost. He slowly backed away from Allen's bed and dashed off out the door as fast as his legs could take him. Allen huffed and shut back off the lights as he pulled the covers over his head in an attempt to subside the ringing in his ears. Timcanpy, coming out of the covers, wondered himself what just happened.

The same routine had been occurring for the past few weeks, even on missions, and by now, Allen looked like he was about to loose it at any second. He entered the cafeteria, not bothering to see if Lavi was anywhere in sight. With the past few weeks, Allen's charismatic complexion took a huge downfall from the heavy stress and lack of sleep. His pure white hair was no longer straight, but started sticking out all over his head and both his eyes had large dark circles around them, making him look like a wandering ghost. Everyone in the cafeteria began to stare at him and whisper things like 'What happened to Walker?' 'He looks like he just came back from the dead'. Allen didn't bother to stop all the talking and began to make his way towards the table with his friends. Lenalee, Miranda, Krory, Kanda and Marie were sitting around a table. It mostly looked like they were there to bother Kanda about something and Marie trying to calm him down. As he looked around the table, Allen spotted a certain red head bookman, laughing at whatever they were talking about. Right next to him, on the table, was that oh-so-dreaded item of terror, his blow horn. Allen finally made his way to the table and greeted everyone.

"Mornin' everyone…" he said tiredly.

Lenalee looked up from their conversation and was about to greet Allen, "Good morning Alle-ALLEN-KUN? What happened to you?" She asked in concern.

"Oh, j-just lack of sleep, it's no big deal," Allen tried to laugh it off, but failed to convince his friends.

"Allen-kun, you need to try and get more sleep. You look awful." Lenalee said, concern still worn on her face.

Kanda shrugged him off like usual and continued eating his soba, thinking why he's surrounded by a bunch of idiots. "Che, the moyashi already looked half-dead before. He just looks more close to being dead than anything else now,"

"Shut up, BaKanda," Allen glared. "At least I don't look like a girl with that long hair of yours,"

That grabbed his attention, "What? You got a death wish, moyashi?"

"Oh, but I thought you already said I'm close to being dead already. Geez, Kanda, I didn't know you were that much of an idiot."

"Look who's talking, moyashi!"

"It's Allen." He said with a deadly look. During their whole word fight, Allen had not notice Lavi get out of his seat and sneak up behind Allen.

"At least I don't go around threatening to kill everyo—"When Allen was about to finish his sentence, Lavi had already placed the blow horn close to Allen's ear and said…

"GROW MOYASHII, GROW!"

"GYAAAAAA!" He screamed once more as he fell to the ground, again, covering his abused ear.

"Did it work now, moyashi?" Lavi grinned at him.

Allen snapped. "THAT'S IT! TO HELL WITH THIS!" He shouted for the whole cafeteria to hear.

"Whoa, calm down, Allen" Lavi attempted to calm his friend.

"NO YOU CALM DOWN, I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING THAT SAME PHRASE OVER AND OVER AND HAVING IT YELLED IN MY EAR! DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS, LAVI, DO YOU? TO NOT BE ABLE TO SLEEP AND EAT IN PEACE? I'M SICK AND TIRED OF IT!AND THIS!" Allen grabbed Lavi's blow horn out of his hand. "THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR DAMN IDEA!" Allen shouted as he threw the blow horn to the grown and jumped and stomped on it until it was nothing but a piece of broken parts. "I DID IT, I'M FREEE~!MWAHAHAHAHAHA~! MY PEACE AND QUIET WILL RETURN TO ME AT LAST!"

As Allen continued laughing like a maniac, everyone stared at him with complete disbelief, shock, and slight fear, especially Lavi.

"Allen's lost it hasn't he…?" Lavi asked with a sweatdrop.

"And whose fault do you think that is…?" Lenalee said.

Plan # 1: Yelling at Plant: FAIL

So that concludes the first failed plan of the many plans Lavi has in store. After that whole incident, Kanda had to knock out Allen and everyone else carried him to his room where Allen was told to take off from any missions for the time being and to just try and rest. Lavi, thinking to try a different approach, went to his list of ideas he made a few nights ago, deciding which one he should try next. A few days later, Allen's health improved and he was better and less insane than before, however, many scientist and finders were still a bit terrified of Allen because of his sudden outburst from before. Allen's days of being tortured to grow aren't over yet.

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><p>Ayane-san: Please review this story in hopes of giving back Allen's sanity...<p>

Allen: I'm fine already...

Ayane-san: Says the maniac that broke a blow horn...

Lavi: So what should I try next Allen?

Allen: NO. STAY AWAY FROM ME.

Saaya: Drinking milk is always the best Allen.

Allen: I...I drink it everyday.

Everyone but Allen: ...pffft.


End file.
